ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
