i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
