I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
