So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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