I wish I could punch you in the face.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
