I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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