Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
