You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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