I just cut my nipple shaving
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
