i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
