those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
