hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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