I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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