Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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