I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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