I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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