Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
