Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
