Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
