I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
