But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
