I want you more than these girls want KFC
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
