Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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