do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I enjoy the company of your penis
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
