pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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