i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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