I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
