The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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