Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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