I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
