Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Your penis caused this!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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