at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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