I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
PANTIES FOUND
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