yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
