I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
