she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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