your parents love me but you hate me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
