i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
