Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
