Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
