i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
