so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
