How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
