she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
