i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
