There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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