I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
