Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
