you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
