that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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