We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
