Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
