that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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