the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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