He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
