I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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