very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
